I have a
fear I may regret writing this piece and come across as a total fool but here
we go.
I have always had a dislike of awards, prizes
and competitions. Not awards of the sponsorship kind, funding for people that
will help with the progress of their work, say sponsorship for a student, or an
artist, I’m fine with that. I’m not so sure about the type of sponsorship
whereby a top sportsperson gets paid a million dollars to wear a certain brand
of socks but that’s not a problem 99% of us will ever face so let’s not bother
with that either.
(I am not attacking anyone in
this blog. Frankly, I’m at a point in my life where I couldn’t care less what
the hell anyone else does so please don’t take this personally, it’s just my feelings.)
I’ll begin with childhood in
true therapist’s style. There are two moments that stick in my mind that may be
where my perspective developed. Once at primary school there was an occasion
where a small group were to be selected for a day out at some kind of charity
event, and there was a big hoo-hah about meeting the celebrity that was hosting
it. The teacher explained those who were working the hardest and behaved the
best over the weeks leading up to the event would be picked to go. The second
event was years later in secondary school where there was some kind of awards
ceremony for a whole range of achievements, can’t really remember why it came
about. So, first, as a nine or ten year old, I vividly remember believing that
I was definitely in the running to go to the event, I worked hard and done
everything that was asked for but of course I wasn’t selected. I remember my
friends coming up to me and saying typically supportive kids things such as,
‘That’s really out of order, I’m never speaking to the teacher ever again.’ Or
‘Let’s run away from school and never come back, maybe join the army?’ Which
was nice of them and I didn’t hold anything against the people who were
selected even though inside I knew I had worked harder than them. The teacher got
wind of the minor revolt in her ranks and attempted a political conciliation by
pulling me aside and having a ‘quiet word’. She explained that she was very
sorry for not selecting me, I had indeed done more than enough to qualify and
the reason that I hadn’t been picked is because she thought I would be too
quiet on the day and they wanted the louder more brash kids that wouldn’t be
too timid to speak to the celebrity and get involved in the activities. Now of
course, I had been very quiet getting my work done trying to make sure I
achieved a high standard and for sure I admit I was never a boisterous pain in
the backside for the teachers so it was obvious to me on those terms I wouldn’t
be first choice to go (Maybe my first example of being told ‘Read the small
print’). Later in secondary school we were all sitting in the hall while the
teacher read out who had been awarded prizes for things like achievement,
progress, and so on. This time I vividly remember thinking that there were
several people I wanted to win these awards as they really deserved it, more so
than me, and I ended up having my name called out a couple of times. Now they are just two early examples and
combined with dozens of other incidents by the time I left school I had a clear
understanding that adults did whatever they liked, lied constantly, changed the
rules when it suited them and in the main didn’t care what happened to others
as long as they were okay. I think it’s fair to say that as an adult I think
that is a pretty fair summary and I haven’t been proved wrong!
For me, I have always believed
that what one person loves another hates and vice-versa, and the sooner you
appreciate that and stop trying to please the world you can get on with
actually enjoying yourself. I’ve lifelong friends that I love as family,
respect and admire, and think are amazing people yet I often disagree with
their views. A viewpoint is just that, someone else’s view and the validity
comes when that person is someone who has great skill and experience in the
field they are discussing, or when the vast majority of people concur with a
certain opinion. For the same prize, would ten different sets of judges produce
the same result? You would hope so wouldn’t you but the chances are slim. So I
think reviews for example are a good thing, customer surveys and ratings and
all that sort of stuff, fine. However, when it comes to awards you just can’t
win in the sense that there is no finite criteria (I guess I am talking about
the arts in general). It is all opinion based on an approximate set of
judgements, it’s not an equation that can be solved to come out with an
indisputable first, second and third place.
Take a look at the Nobel
Prizes, there is not many more globally prestigious awards than that and yet
any news article you see that has a comments section or a forum linked to it
you will find abuse towards the selected winners and the foundation (and not
just from ignorant trolls). In the entertainment industry, the Oscars, I
imagine one of the most watched events, people never agree on the shortlist
never mind the winners! Those are two famous examples but even if you funnel
down to a local town newspaper giving a prize and you’ll get a ferocious
response.
Now a good outcome is that you get debate and
discussion; that’s great, to have people talk about what their views are on a
subject in an informed way (who doesn’t think they would do a better job than
whoever happens to fill the current England football manager’s job?) So in a
way, half the effort of these things is to stimulate debate, and that’s fine.
The other side of it, the
important commercial side of it, is marketing and sales. I can totally
understand the importance of finding ways to get your name out, and getting a
recognized award is a fantastic way of doing it. Having something bestowed upon
your work by a recognized influential and revered body is no mean feat and
should be applauded. People will buy things based solely on its awards without
needing to know anything about it. However, I just don’t like it.
It’s something I don’t feel
comfortable with, eventually I would like people to review what I do and as I
said I think reviews are vital, but I don’t think I would ever consider
submitting anything I do for an award or competition (this is the bit I was
talking about when I said I may look a fool). I fear that if I start looking
for validation I will start ‘doing’ for reasons that aren’t my own. I don’t
want to feel that I am searching for someone to give me a title. I want to
produce what I produce for it’s own sake and be happy with that. Now before you
start calling me a naïve idiot, let me repeat what I have said several times, I
am a novice and do not write for a living, I write for a hobby, so there is the
difference. Once you want to be a professional then you may need to do whatever
it takes to pay the bills and that’s why I am not judging or attacking anyone
in this blog, I need to walk in that person’s shoes before I can comment but
it’s my gut feeling that I do not want to partake.
Inside me I feel that I cannot
say that one person deserves something more than the other based on a few
people’s opinion at the time. We don’t look for a knockout as in boxing, one
person wins, the other gets their nose broken. If one person sells a billion
copies of a book but everyone thinks it is critically poor, and someone else
sells a few thousand but it wins a prize where is the equality, where is the
justice, where is the fairness. There isn’t any, we are looking at it the wrong
way, you may say that by nature of winning that prize that person may go on to
then sell a billion but it doesn’t always work out that way and why should it. It’s
a terribly basic thing to say, but work hard and make something you love and
don’t care about what others think.
Hour is up.
I’m sure I’ve missed something important…
RGR
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